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7 Critical Grief Healing Decisions
“Every decision you make – every decision – is not a decision about what to do.
It’s a decision about Who You Are.
When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes.
You begin to see life in a new way.
All events, occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities
to do what you came here to do.”
~ Neale Donald Walsch
Although you may not be able to change some of the exterior outside conditions that surround your life, you can begin by changing the interior inside the experiences you face as well as your attitude about your sorrow and loss. A clear understanding of who you are will help you see your grief occurrence and situation in a new way. The following are 7 critical grief decisions that can help you stop grieving and start healing.
Grief Healing Decision #1
BEWARE OF A LONG-TERM CHICKEN LITTLE DANCE Consider the contrary and opposing results of you doing a flippant long term “Chicken Little” dance. However, if you feel a need to temporally and flippantly dance, we won’t judge you. Turn up the music full volume and go for it! Just don’t continually do the chicken little carefree dance.
“Life is magnificent – just as it comes. Life has no need for fancy clothes, or lipstick. Life is no pig. Our life is the greatest gift of all creation. When we are unhappy with life – when we are shocked by the actions of politicians, or corporations, or our “enemies,” or our “friends,” or even by natural forces, – let us not lash out in anger. But also, let us not try to pretty up life with some lipstick and some party clothes. See life clearly – no rose colored glasses – and then CHOOSE to love life. CHOOSE to be happy, be joyful, be grateful, be forgiving of everyone and of every act we believe has hurt us. Life just “IS.” We get to CHOOSE our relationship with life. Life is all in the perspective we take on it.”
~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie
How important, in fact essential, is what you choose and how you react to who you are.
Grief Healing Decision #2 STAND UP TO YOUR OBSTACLES
“Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them.
You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have.”
~ Norman Vincent Peale
Grief occurrences usually bring to your mind an abundance of despair. A product of grief happening in your life is helplessness. Standing up against physical and emotional despair is a challenge you can meet head-on with full energy.
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems you cannot hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time the tide will turn.”
~ Harriet Beecher Stowe
You can! You have more energy and strength than you initially think is within yourself.
Grief Healing Decision #3 HOW IS THE SET OF YOUR SAIL? “Greatness is not in where we stand, but in what direction we are moving. We must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it – but sail we must, and not drift, nor lie at anchor. ‘Tis the set of the sail that decides the goal, and not the storm of life.”
~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Your daily efforts must not drift aimlessly or lie at anchor.
“There are no constraints on the human mind, no walls around the human spirit, no barriers to our progress except those we ourselves erect.”
~ Ronald Reagan
A path of happiness is best achieved by controlling your sail, not the wind. Don’t allow yourself to place barriers to your progress.
Grief Healing Decision #4 CHOOSE WISELY HOW YOU REACT TO LIFE OCCURRENCES “We can always choose to perceive things differently.
You can focus on what’s wrong in your life, or you can focus on what’s right.”
~ Marianne Williamson
An external circumstance cannot be chosen but how you respond to them is always your choice.
“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”
~ Charles R. Swindoll
Wow! Have you ever thought about 90% of how your life is – depends upon how you react to it?
“Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would be different.”
~ Katherine Mansfield
An important goal to consider daily is to choose wisely how you react to occurrences in your life. It is important that you believe you can alter your life by altering your attitude.
Grief Healing Decision #5 DO YOUR REACTIONS ROAR LIKE A LION? “Courage doesn’t always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”
~ Mary Anne Radmacher
Always your attitude must be “I will keep trying”.
“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is
not only the result but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action
you take will be successful; perhaps different actions or
adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no
action at all.”
~ Norman Vincent Peale
Being docile and passive can cause unwanted fear. Taking action, even if only small baby steps, can restore sufficient confidence to try again tomorrow.
Grief Healing Decision #6
PERCEIVING THE POSSIBILITY OF HEALING YOUR GRIEF IS
“As you insist on getting an immediate perfect resolution to your
grieving you can become utterly paralyzed by the complexity and
size of the problem. A better answer may be to accept gradual
imperfect solutions as you act upon taking small steps and move
toward grief relief.” ~Duane H. Marchant
To Be proactive carefully, kindly, and regularly doing many little things is not a little thing – IT IS A BIG THING! Don’t give up.
“The World Exists as You Perceive it… It is Not what You See, but How You See it… It is Not what You Hear, but How You Hear it…
It is Not what You Feel… but How You Feel it.”
See your grief condition as something you can heal! Believe healing is so. Believe in you.
Grief Healing Decision #7
HEALING BLESSINGS COME IN MANY WAYS
“Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a “healing” cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are “healed” by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.” ~ Elder Dallin H. Oaks November Ensign 2006
I believe in God who can give you the understanding and strength to
bear your grief and cure or lift your burden. Sometimes, because
of the complexity of your grief occurrence, you might forget
about a caring vital inspiration and companion. Commune with
God. Doing so will give you the blessings of added ability to stop
grieving and start healing.
Beware of the everlasting chicken dance.
Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. The
set of the sail decides your goal and not the storm of life.
Choose wisely how you react to life occurrences. Sometimes
courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try
again tomorrow.” Perceiving the possibility of healing your grief is
essential. Healing blessings come in many ways. Commune with God.
May your personal world be gentle to you, and may your own thoughts be tender and kind to you.
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