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Male Sexual Arousal – How Lap Dances and Strip Clubs Affect Male Sexual Desire, Arousal and Behavior
A man lied to his wife. For months, he secretly goes out at night to exotic dance clubs, flirts with strippers and gets lap dances (which he chooses to believe are “innocent” and “harmless”). He enjoys his small, secret world that brings him a feeling of sensual arousal and general forbidden pleasure in the body. He tells himself that he “doesn’t cheat”. But inevitably, after an indefinite amount of time, his wife discovers what he has done. To his surprise, dismay and disappointment, his partner is not so receptive or accepting. She is angry, furious, hurt, devastated and maybe even feels and behaves out of control. He may be at risk of losing everything – his marriage, his home and his family.
At this point, the man often feels, “I have to find a way to change this. I’m attracted to my wife. I love her very much. She’s beautiful. She’s been good to me. She takes good care of us children. I don’t want a divorce. I want to find a way to make up Her. I thought I was really ‘cool’ to go to these clubs. I realize now how mature I was.”
Then, the question arises: Why did you go see strippers? Why do you pay for a lac dance when you have a beautiful woman at home, that you say you love?
The answer, if the man is honest, sometimes goes like this. “I’m attracted to my wife, but she expects me to “perform” for her or she expects me to always initiate sex. She thinks I don’t desire her because I haven’t been that interested in being intimate with her lately. The truth is, sometimes I’m afraid of her. She expects me to always be I’m ready and I’ll deliver. Lately she’s been upset if I don’t live up to her expectations—especially since she knows I’ve gotten satisfaction from some of these other women.
So what is it about strip clubs, strippers and lac dances that keeps some men enthusiastically coming back for more while neglecting the available wife they claim to love?
A typical male response might be: “At the dance clubs, I can relax, be myself, have a few drinks, listen to music and watch some beautiful bodies move slowly, luring me into a state of arousal. I might invite one of those beautiful young ladies to my table. She might smile at me , she might touch my arm, or whisper something seductive in my ear. She might call me baby or baby, suggest that I feel good if I want to dance with her.”
At home, when it comes to sexual desire, some men will say: “I often feel like a frightened child about to be scolded by his angry mother.” They may share that at the club they have sometimes heard other men say, “I have to go home and do my old lady,” as if it were a chore or drudgery to go through, instead of the pleasurable experience that real intimacy can be. .
What do strippers and exotic dancers do that men crave but don’t accept at home?
First, the man is completely accepting. He has nothing to do but be there. The woman does all the flirting and seduction. She moves her body seductively. She may gradually remove some of her clothing. She may arch her back and stick her bottom out, a “receptive position” known to be sexually arousing in male mammals. Some strippers won’t touch guys at all, but will come very close to touching the men’s face with their breasts, groin, butt, etc. However, most strippers will touch and indeed allow touch, even if they technically aren’t supposed to. To. It’s all about what will make them the most money. Then there are the special “champagne rooms”. For a very high hourly fee, a man can spend some time in a very private room with the woman of his choice. Here she may offer additional sexual favors that she claims are only provided to “special” customers.
Second, the goal of the exotic dancer is to arouse the man, to tease him, to act as if he is a master at arousing her, and to constantly promise him greater and greater pleasure. She does not demand, seems to have no expectations from him, and does not give him arguments. But there’s also no real back-and-forth communication (other than allowing him to express his unhappiness and frustrations with his life, his marriage, or whatever) and no love. Sometimes a man starts to feel “love” for an exotic dancer, but what he likes is only the image she presents and the way she makes him happy. He probably has no idea who she really is.
The truth about exotic dancers is this. The girl is there to: support the habit, support her family, earn some money for a specific purpose, or as a quick solution for an uneducated and unskilled woman to earn a considerable amount of money. This is a recession-proof business – and it’s a big business. Men have needs, and when times get tough, those needs often increase. Some men will look for a way to escape and feel good, even if only for a few hours.
Behind their smiles, erotic movements and seductive words, many of these women really feel disgusted by men. They don’t like the way these men “descend” from complete strangers. They despise men for “cheating” on their spouses and significant others.
And their only goal is to get as much money as possible by making every man wake up and come back for more.
The man who visits strip clubs gets his narcissistic needs met for attention, arousal, stimulation and praise. He is actually denying himself the opportunity for true intimacy, closeness, communication and resolving his deepest childhood fears and insecurities. His wife suffers from the same lack of intimacy.
The solution is for each partner to take responsibility for the demise of their intimacy, take the bull by the horns, dig in their heels, get the sexual counseling that both of them can benefit from, and really start their sexual relationship from all sides. again. Literally, from the start, they should shake hands and say, “Hi. My name is…I can offer you something wonderful, make you feel better than you’ve ever felt before, if you’ll just take the time to get to know me…”
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