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Reviewing Bollywood Film ‘Ek Thi Daayan’ Ekta Kapoor Production Starring Emraan Hashmi, Konkona Sen
In case you need a tip or two on product placement strategies, Ek Thi Daayan is the movie for you. Watch closely in one scene when Gaza’s Tetra pack gets to share screen space with Emraan Hashmi and the actor playing his hypnotist (who unfortunately remains anonymous because I can’t locate his name anywhere). Marvel at how Kapoor flashed the Apple logo on the iPhone so it could shine and upstage Emraan and his deans more than once! You’re so convinced of producer Ekta Kapoor’s marketing savvy (we all know she’s got it all) that you wonder if her poor director Kanan Iyer included the film’s lyricist Gulzaar’s book during one song sequence as an homage or if it was another of the impressive books of Kapoor. Marketing tricks.
These tricks will actually impress you more than the bundle of magic Imran’s character Bobo the Magician performs (‘Bobo’ really? And are we going to take a guy with that stage name seriously? Seriously!). If, though, you need a tip or two on how to create fear through the medium of film, then Ek Thi Daayan is too conventional, convenient, crude and clichéd to teach you anything – Kapoor’s unorthodox marketing (which includes airing a mini-series, starring a variety of TV soaps’ Bahoos’, titled Ek Thhi Naayaka on Life OK) may have given birth to you, but read further into this review and you may be safe and sound, both from the inefficiency of the film and from spending your precious money (even more precious with inflation) on these dinars.
In case you are reading this, let me tell you that you are one small step closer to saving yourself. If you’re already thinking “Okay, I won’t watch this! But tell me what I should watch instead” then I suggest you order a DVD of Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby, a Mia Farrow-starring 1968 masterpiece that is basically the backbone. -creepy. Ek Thi Daayan is scary at best, a crude and extremely reductive alternative to Rosemary’s Baby. Both movies involve babies (okay, Lak Thi Diane has slightly older children) and demonic cults (the difference is that Rosemary’s baby already shows the cult’s activity once in advance while Diane saves it for the climax only) but the essential difference is that Roman Polanski is able Create terrifying paranoia while Kanan Air can only do ‘Boo!’ the weak
The plot in Ek Thi Daayan involves a famous-magician-with-a-haunted-past Bobo’s fear of women with long braids or ‘chutti’ and suspicious looks and behavior… Okay, that was too simple a way to explain it: here’s what happens: Bobo keeps getting these visions of his truly horrible past, which include his sister while he’s performing on stage; This results in several near-fatal mishaps during his stage performances. His lover Tamara (played by Huma Qureshi, whose previous performance in ‘Gangs Wasipur’ was critically acclaimed) is reluctant to marry him because Bobo is actually a bit strange; Bobo consults his hypnotist Dr. Palit to allay his fears, and that’s when the film takes us to a mega flashback scene that lasts until the interval. We learn that even as a child he was a weirdo who dressed in shirts and read books about witchcraft and sorcery. We also learn how a mysterious lady played by Diana Konkona San came into his family’s life, became Bobo’s stepmother and then ruined their lives; you chuckle a little when Bobo’s senile grandfather (the stock character who inexplicably portends catastrophe in horror movies) suddenly starts muttering names as if he’s some kind of seer.) After the intermission, we’re brought back to the present. When Bobo tries to get rid of his past by marrying Tamara – here comes one of the worst and most unnecessary scenes in the history of Bollywood cinema, a wedding song and dance sequence where everyone looks at the camera while shaking a leg. As soon as this miserable scene passes, our third heroine of the film, Kalki Koechlin, enters The talented (who was great in Dibakar Banerjee’s ‘Shanghai’) as Lisa Dutt, a musician who is a big fan of Bobo’s; our magician suspects that she is Diane after remembering his grandfather’s prophecy. The rest of the film involves the question of ‘is she or isn’t she?’ And finally… I won’t tell you what happens, but do yourself a favor: skip the movie, watch the trailer, but keep in mind that what you’re seeing is a trick and maybe you’ll get your answer to who is the Dane and who isn’t.
Half of the dialogues in the film are funny, especially when you hear Bobo screaming ‘Choti Kath Devanga! (I’ll cut your braids!) In all seriousness. Vishal Bhardwaj can make the witch movie ‘Makdee’ a decent movie but here he is unable to write convincing dialogues (consider the scene where Tamara scolds Bobo for staying mum about his past and Bobo compensates by saying ‘I want to start life over. Let’s get married’ followed by the terrible dance sequence. completely unconvincing) nor to tie up loose ends or even give some freshness to the story itself. Maybe he excuses himself and says that half of the film has to be seen from a child’s point of view (so the expected possibilities) but come on, he’s an adult writing the script, so can’t he at least break the conventions of Indian horror films?
You’re only left with decent performances that might keep you out of the movie. Konkona is the only one worth mentioning in this review; Her unconventional sexiness is all the more enticing when her pupils dilate (falling in love with Dayan, sir?) and she really makes us sit back and enjoy her character/creature even when she gives terrible ‘sat samundar zog’-like lines. to speak in the second half. The rest is fine but Emraan is just too self-aware that he’s in a horror movie and needs to always look scared (much like Daniel Radcliffe in The Woman in Black).
In short (and I’m liberally borrowing from a dialogue in the film but with some changes): Ek Thi Dain’s scripts snort, his horror farts out and its miles (light years away actually) from being the tiger of Indian horror films.
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