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Should Girls Be Playing Youth Football? NO
Should girls play youth soccer?
This may be a somewhat controversial topic for some, but in the society we live in, the answer should be ambiguous!
Do some girls have the size and aggressiveness to play youth soccer? Certainly, I see sisters of my players who will become excellent soccer players, but I’m not sure that would be the best for the girl or boys on our youth soccer team.
Today’s society seems to want to devalue women, rap music with its degrading depiction of women as throwaways and worthy of abuse, television and movies that portray women as sex objects worthy of abuse, as well as in print media and mainstream pornography.
In inner city Omaha nearly 70% of our players don’t have a man at home. If you think I’m exaggerating, we had games with 2 people in the stands and both were women, not enough for a chain team. It wasn’t a one time deal, we had a lot of games where we didn’t have 3 males to run the chains. Many of our players do not have a behavior model at home to “copy” how to properly treat a woman. The children often see first-hand women who have been physically and mentally abused and of course they hear it in the music they listen to, on television and in print. I have been a youth soccer coach for 15 years and the problem of the house “without the fathers” is getting worse every year. Tom Osborne in his book “Belief in the Game” claims that this problem is increasing and is responsible for most of the crime and problems with young men.
If we let girls play soccer and tackle boys, we are teaching the boys that rough physical contact with women is acceptable behavior. Actually as coaches we will have to encourage and reward this physical contact. Our players were used to getting used to and being used to being physical with females, the act would desensitize anyone involved in the act of physical force exerted on females by males. The female meanwhile learns that hard physical contact with males is acceptable, it’s already a habit. Now, while having females on your team may help the short-term progress of some of our soccer teams, I’m not sure we’re helping either boy or girl in their long-term development as productive members of our society.
Girls are as good as and even better than boys in many activities, it’s not about the girls who have the ability to play. It is about breaking the abusive cycle that many single parent families or even two families find themselves in today. In my opinion, coaching youth soccer is much more than teaching kids how to run good soccer games and how to block and tackle. It is about teaching valuable life lessons that the youth soccer player can take with him to use throughout his life. My father taught me how to treat women with reverence and respect, and I have earned this behavior with a wonderful wife and a very fulfilling family life. Dad didn’t just tell me, he showed me, even when he and Mom had disagreements, they were never loud or physical. He modeled the right behavior every day, many of our kids never see that right behavior for them. As a teenager, we were threatened that hitting a girl or even pushing one was “deadly sin” stuff that could never happen. If this were to happen, my father would be treated in the most severe way, plus it would also be considered a coward.
In 2001 we had an 8 year old soccer player from one of our Omaha teams punch a girl in the face over some sort of disagreement in the playground area of our field. Of course we talked to the boy and informed him that he should never hit a woman and dismissed him from our program with the promise that he could come back next year if we saw a significant improvement in his attitude and actions. We felt he needed the program and contact with strong male role models. The player had to attend every practice and game and watch, not play. We convinced the parents of the victimized girl not to file formal charges. Believe it or not, the prominent actors “Grandpa” claimed the children’s case and said that the girl “pushed him first”. It made me sick, the poor kid doesn’t have a dad at home and a “grandpa” who thinks it’s ok to punch girls in the face who push you first. No wonder his daughter had no man at home. I wanted to punch Grandpa in the face but I thought that wouldn’t be the right message for the child to see either. We really worked on this kid, but I feel there is a very high probability that this actor will be a woman user/abuser when he grows up and will have a very unsatisfactory family life. While the grandson did return, grandfather was not invited to train for us again.
I will never let women play in my youth football program. I don’t want our football players’ life lessons and memories to include when our player took out the stuffing of a girl running back who had runny nose bubbles and tears running down her face.
However, some people will bite the hand that feeds him. In our rural program we had no sign ups for women’s soccer. In Omaha we had several mothers trying to sign their daughters up for soccer. After the initial disappointment wore off and the mother was told why we thought it made sense in the long run for females not to play, the mothers were very supportive. I can only think of one instance where a mother didn’t “get it” and pulled her son from the program because we wouldn’t allow her daughter to be harmed by boys on our team. I can still see her today, a single mother of 3 who needed a plan who refused to listen to reason. This mom had two front teeth missing, probably because of the same period we tried to help break.
Today we have football to contend with and even wrestling between boys and girls, what’s the next fight? Or what about ultimate combat? Where do you draw the line? If boys are as good as boys at football, why not box? Why not fight? Why not Ultimatre Fighting?
There are those who do not care about the long-term consequences for both parties, they only have a selfish desire to see their children excel, no matter what the cost. I cringe at what’s in store for that poor girl.
Let’s stretch the limit in tackle football.
For more free youth soccer games or free youth soccer coaching tips, please visit Dave’s website:
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